That being said, my year has been full of small victories too. Here goes...
- This year, I found a great place to live where I can do my own thing without interference from room mates, then survived flooding to the flat a week after moving in.
- I split up from my partner of 4 years who then decided he couldn't commit even though we'd been talking about it for ages. He enjoyed keeping me at arms length in a long distance relationship and only calling me every few days. I however was not a fan, hence the split. My heart broke. He did the whole 'you deserve more than I can give you' spiel but it still hurt.
- I went on a cruise. That was fun. It was so nice to get away, even if it was with mum.
- I had a major falling out with my mother and elected not to talk to her because she causes me so much pain and doesn't listen when I speak anyway, plus nothing I do is ever good enough and of course she is ALWAYS right, just ask her. She of course was completely oblivious and I was contentedly detached from her until.....
- I was raped. There I've said it. Me the strong independent young woman who has always taken care of herself and stood up for herself (except where mum is concerned) got taken advantage of. Me the girl who has few friends and chooses them wisely because she can't stand the gossip and bitchiness that comes with spending time with some people, let someone into my world who hurt me. Every day I'm reminded that things are different. Not always in obvious ways and often in small ways but it's always there in the back of my mind. The way people treat me is different now too, despite being told that I want to get past this and live my life, my family are still determined to tell me what they think and tell me my lifestyle is unsafe even though I live the same way I did before. It hurts that they don't trust me anymore. They think I need someone constantly looking out for me now. That is just not the case. I made an error in judgement, I went against my gut feeling trusted someone I felt uncomfortable around for the sake of being a good Christian and giving him a second chance to be my friend. It was my mistake,yes and and I'm dealing with that. Moving on......
- I've lost most of my friends this year, some because of what happened and others because of distance and life getting in the way. I really only have 2 people left, one who will always be there but is often unreachable because she is not well and the other is always there, always reachable and is my world.
- Finally up to the good news, I met someone new. He's so wonderful, wants everything I do, is affectionate, sweet and loves all the random quirky things about me. We are like two peas in a pod we're just so suited. He is amazing, he knows about what happened and is supportive of me and every decision I make. I love him with all my heart.
- I decided to move out of my area 1) because I have no friends here anymore, 2) because it's way too close to my mother and 3) because HE lives in this area and I'd rather not be looking over my shoulder every time I go to woolies.
- I survived uni!! woohoo!!!! I did my (hopefully) last exam a couple of weeks ago. I'll find out my final results on wednesday but I'm fairly certain I passed everything. I had to ask for help a couple of times (special consideration) but I got through it. Which means no more UWS. Next years plan is tafe, work, markets and church. And spending lots of quality time with boyfriend. I want a quieter year after this one thank you very much.
- Also, my laptop died, taking with it all my music, writing and patterns. Very sad. I have a loaner PC at the moment but it has a love hate relationship with my internet so I'm not online as much anymore.
Now about the quilt. I did make more blocks than that, intending to make a single but there were doubles of some colours and I couldn't stand looking at another UFO when there was so much attached to it. So yesterday I put together the blue strip, added the sashing, hand quilted it and did a rolled back binding and it's a lap quilt. It is now all done and finished and once it is no longer in my house I'll be even happier. This is the first quilt of mine to have a name too. I call it 'The pieces of my broken heart'